The Bridge over the River Reality

     I often find myself losing the argument that "pessimism and realism" are not the same thing. Not so much because I am proven wrong, I am just not able to ever convince the opposing party that they are! And just as pessimism can be a realistic scenario sometimes, optimism itself can be the sincerest form of naiveté when you fail to manage your expectations.  

     There was never fine line between optimism and pessimism despite what some may believe. In fact, there is a gaping chasm between the two and there is a long bridge connecting either side.  Either side is the end result, a terminal point where all positive or negative premonitions of the event come into fruition.  Until they happen, you remain on the bridge over the river called "Reality".  Now is the best time possible to plan your strategy to make it to the best side.

     Now I agree it is a healthy practice to do your best to remain as far on the positive side of this bridge as possible but until you make safe landfall on one side, you are still hovering over an irresistible force called "reality". Being positive but not accepting the reality that things might not work out regardless of your greatest efforts is the same as standing around on the bridge and failing to make the last few steps to safety.  Identifying the potential for failure it is NOT at all being negative. In fact, sometimes failure is the greatest way to expose opportunities for success but that is for another blog. 

     Case in my original point; identifying a common and perhaps serious workflow problem at your employer can earn you the scarlet letter N for being negative. Here is another futile attempt to explain my acceptance of reality. "Positive" to me isn't saying "I am going to pass this test". That's called being naive in my opinion and can put you at a point of weakness to where you start to let your guard down and perhaps not properly prepare for the test. I like to say "I could technically fail the test because it is hard but I am going to try my damnedest not to let that happen and focus on my weakest points so that I can best prepare. But if I fail, I'll have a fall back option ready to go". 

     Did you notice my last sentence? Being overly positive to the point of disregarding the possibility you could still fail, not only weakens your resolve, but also leaves you caught without your water wings on in the event the bridge does in fact fall out from under you. What was your contingency plan?  Did you even have one?   Don't feel bad because most people don't.  Society tends to scold those that identify risks as "focusing on the negative".  I focus on negative all the time but that is because I have made my share of mistakes.  I'd rather accept them as a part of my past and store them my mental "lessons learned" archive for future reference.  And while I agree it is a virtue to focus on your list of successes as a means to gain self confidence, one should not simply ignore the problems. If there is an angry animal charging up behind you, run faster!

     So let me ask this; if you swear you'll beat a disease but you don't, does that make you a liar? Of course not.  I don't think that is a fair thing to say to someone faced with such a horrible crisis.  But there is a stigma attached to the notion to where not losing sight of reality is somehow a bad thing. You might not beat it despite yours and the doctors' best efforts.  Talk to your family, prepare them, tie up any financial loose ends so they aren't dealing with that as well as losing you, God forbid, at the same time. That is called realistic optimism.  "I will do my best to beat this, pass that, get there, etc, but I will be prepared in the event that I don't."

     The same problem occurs when someone points out a legitimate failure in a system, but all others tag that person as pessimistic and/or negative. Then they simply proceed to mentally high five one another thinking that their positivity makes them the heroes of the day.  They are masking the problem and not attempting to resolve it.  They are still on the bridge and they have begun rolling backward to the failure side while you are trying to warn them of their impending doom.  You simply want everyone to be aware so they can start either pedaling faster across the bridge or consider other forms of transportation. It is frightening that people so often address their problems by assuming happy words will have a 100% success rate. Concerted efforts with a realistic outlook are far greater allies. Being positive regarding the effort you will excerpt despite external factors which you cannot control will sure up your best chances for success. Disregarding those external factors will amplify your chances for failure.

     When you bring awareness to a problem your company has turned a blind eye to while it festers away and they slap you down as having a bad attitude, that is the equivalent of having the technician at Jiffy Lube mention to you that you have a small oil leak in your engine block that you should look into but you write him off as being "too negative". I will say this however; don't just present a problem. Counter it with a potential solution. Even the slightest suggestion ends the comment on a positive note that might just do the trick. 

     You have a degree of control over any scenario, but not total control. The more you identify the risks and accept everything as possible and properly prepare, the greater a chance you have to safely make it to land on the bright side of the bridge.